Something So Small

Over Thanksgiving, Warrior, Little Man and I went on an unplugged vacation. We were out where the stars shine bright and the milky way is indeed, milky. There was no cell phone reception (NO iPhone!! ACK!) and no internet at the home we stayed in.

Here is a collection of random thoughts I would have Twittered (maybe) had I been able to Twitter. Enjoy:

(Thanksgiving Day 2008)
BACON!!

Waffles, coffee (baba)

Chill out.
Into town for Groceries.
Choo-choo train in store.
Dropped groceries.
Went to water to walk on bluffs.
Back for lunch.
Titi nap (that's the Little Man's nickname)

Mom & Dad cleanup & bird prep

Drinking hot chocolate out of a bowl, because the mugs here are SO TINY!! While Warrior does the dishes.

(Later)

This is definitely a Cracker house.

I LOVE MY BOYS!!!!

SCORE! Brand new Herbes de Provence in the spice rack!

A FOX!! So awesome! (In the yard.)

(Even later)

OH MY GOD THE FRIDGE SMELLS LIKE TURKEY

"My pants are going nowhere." -Jack Johnson

GLove is SO HOTT

We need an HD sound system.

These thoughts are embarrassing.

(Later still)

On Myopia
Alt. On Being Myopic

The Art of Unplugging
Alt. On Unplugging
[ideas for guest post for ZoeyJane]

~ ~ ~
Random enough for you?

From the VDog School of Cracker Home Repair

Let's say that you're a Cracker. Maybe your name happens to be VDog. And maybe you don't always do things the smart way.

Let's say you had an eight pound bag of ice that had melted together. For the sake of the story, let's also say that you wanted to break those bits of ice apart so that you could actually employ said ice to cool a tasty beverage.

Let's say that you have a husband named Warrior. Let's say that he gently reminded you on several occasions that ice should be broken outside on the concrete.

Let's say that you have a baby to watch, and gosh darn it, you don't *feel* like going OUTSIDE. With the baby AND the bag of ice.

Let's say you see a very promising corner to bang that bag of ice on. So you do. Repeatedly. Until holy shit the Warrior's gonna kill me you crack the drywall and take a big chunk of the corner off.

What do you do?

Let's say your first thought is DUCT TAPE! But no, that would just look ugly.

Like a good Mommy, you dress the wound with a sterile bandage and then tape over the wound with some delicious blue painter's tape. Yeah. Sounds like a great fix.

Hopefully Warrior won't notice. Ahem.

This is for all of you asking, WTF is a Cracker? What do you mean by that? Well, folks. This. Is. It.

VDog: Serving up daily doses of Crackerness since 2006, when the original three Crackers realized they were ones.

Haiku Friday Back Again

Missed Haiku Friday
For only the second time
Last week. Sick baby

Kept me from my blog.
No way I could miss this week
Stay up late for 'ku!

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Happy Valentine's
My super romantic man
Calendar was gift

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Marching for Babies
Hope to raise lots of money
Walk is six miles ~ ACK!

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This is what I was dealing with:

Double Ear Infections - The Ugly Side of Little Man from VDog on Vimeo.
Poor baby, he was SO miserable. He was MUCH better yesterday; hopefully he's back to normal soon!

What Did I Do To The Poor Boy?

Crackered up your style
For your thirteen month Birthday
Sorry Little Man!

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Happy Birthday, Little Man! 13 Months already, I can hardly believe it. This week is our one year anniversary of bringing him home from the hospital. Wow. He came home just in time to celebrate Daddy's birthday (2/2). Happy Birthday to you, baby! Jttc!!! (Secret love note to Warrior.)

(Don't worry; I didn't take him out of the house looking like that!)

This Is What A Preemie Looks Like - 5 Weeks Old

I shall now commence vlogging until further notice.



This is of my tiny Little Man at five weeks old. He would fall asleep before eating enough, pretty much all of the time. It was a tough period for all of us. He had been home only a week when Warrior took this video.

Little Man's Story, Part Two

Get caught up: Little Man's Story, Part One

I had spent the last week taking care of Sasha and relaxing at home (since I was already on maternity leave).

I celebrated my 27th Birthday with my family and #4 on Sunday, December 17th, 2006. I cooked for everyone and accepted little help, much to my Mom's dismay.

I spent a lazy Monday hanging out with Sasha and having a visit from #4 while awaiting my "real" (on the actual day) Birthday celebration with the Warrior that night. I remember it vividly.

We ordered red chicken curry, basil chicken, chicken pad thai (can you tell I like chicken?), and steamed rice. We were shoe horned into a small table, right in front of the register. Not exactly the mood and ambiance I had wanted for my last baby-free Birthday dinner. We had no idea the restaurant would be so jam packed on a Monday one week before Christmas.

Warrior and I were both so excited. I had spent the week ordering the bassinet, crib, stroller and accoutrements. We held hands across the table and talked about the impending change to our universe. We talked about our first daughter, Sasha, and her sad, sad state. But most of all we talked about Little Bunny, as he was known then.

I had just become noticeably pregnant -- my belly button hadn't even popped -- as I spent the majority of my pregnancy looking like a porker who eats five hot dogs at every sitting (this line courtesy of my brother) unfortunately uneven in my fat distribution. I told Warrior that I didn't have enough "Preggie pictures" -- and that we needed to go home and take some.

This is as big as I got. I am proud of my Belly.

My Belly started shrinking the next day :(

We realized that this was my last Birthday with just the two of us as our little "family." We knew I would be a 27 year old Mama, but we didn't know that Warrior would be a 33 year old Papa. We thought we would have one more just-the-couple Birthday to celebrate, Warrior's 34th, three weeks before our due date.

We went to bed with dreams of Little Bunny and parenthood racing through our heads.

The next morning, Tuesday, December 19th, was uneventful. I went downstairs and brought my cereal back up to our room to be with Sasha (we were taking our meals and living completely upstairs due to her surgery). I surfed the Internet from the La-Z-Boy and enjoyed the sun streaming in through the sliding glass doors.

As I prepared for my nap (I was constantly tired throughout my pregnancy, and napped often -- the luxuries of a first pregnancy!) I noticed a clear discharge that was "different." I thought about it for about a minute, since I had just read in one of those helpful books that you need to watch out for something of that nature, as it could one of the first signs that your water has broken, or you have a leak. I thought, "hmm, that's weird," and then went to sleep.

When I woke up about an hour and a half later, my thighs were wet. Not soaked, but wet. There were also a few small wet spots on the pillowcase of the pillow I was using between my knees. I thought, "either I've peed myself, or my water has broken." I went to the toilet and felt a trickle. I was pretty sure I hadn't peed myself.

So I called the doctor's office, and said, "Hi, this is VDog (not really), I'm at 30 weeks, and I think that my water has broken. I woke up from my nap and my thighs were wet blah blah blah, I could have just peed myself, but I'm pretty sure that my water has broken."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure."

"Ok, the doctor is on-call at the hospital right now; I'll have her give you a call."

The doctor literally called me back within three minutes. She has always been prompt at returning my calls, but I knew this meant it was SERIOUS.

"Doctor Amy" (she actually says, "this is Amy"; I LOVE that) has a very soothing, calming voice, and it was very reassuring for me to hear her voice. Although what she had to say was not reassuring -- after I told her what had been going on, she said, "Well, it definitely has to be checked out, and the best place to do that is here in Labor & Delivery."

This concludes Part Two. Stay tuned for Part Three where I FREAK OUT!!! and get hospitalized.

I promise to not let so much time lapse between "episodes" Two and Three!

The Sweetest Sounds

Some babbling going on....

In other news, Little Man had his top two teeth break through on Sunday night/Monday morning. So it was a rough night for all of us, with much screaming involved.

For now, enjoy the sweet, sweet sounds of my Little Man. Makes me misty within the first few seconds. I am so over the moon about this kid of mine.

From a Long Line of Bad Tubes

Eustachian tubes, that is.

We've got our first ear infection, people. At least the fever and crankiness are for a reason! Unfortunately, I'm almost certain that this will be the first in a long line of ear infections.

You see, both Warrior and I were complete sickies as kids, and still get sick probably more often than other adults. It's all thanks to the faulty tubes.

When I told Warrior that it was the beginning of an ear infection (consistent with a high fever and ear pulling, and his ears didn't look "normal"), he said, "I got ear infections ALL the time as a kid!" Huh. I knew about the asthma, bronchitis, and pneumonia, but NOT the ear infections.

As a kid, I would have pretty much any one of the three major tube infections at least once a year: ear, sinus and tonsil. I also had bronchitis about once a year.

I don't think there was a year of school where I DIDN'T miss at least a whole week and several sporadic days due to illness. It's no wonder I earned the nickname, "Sicky Vicky." (Btw, don't EVER call me Vicky, k? Thanks. (Another story for another day.))

Then there was the month in seventh grade that I was out with pneumonia. Guess what? So was Warrior! We have so much in common! Both of our Moms took us to warmer climates to dry us out, like we were old people needing environment therapy.

The next year, I was out for over six weeks with Mono. And I didn't even have a boyfriend! At least I could have gotten it some fun way! But Nooooo, I got it SHARING A CAN OF SODA. I am THAT lame exciting. HA!

Growing up by the beach, I was in the water a lot. Which meant I got a lot of ear infections. I got so paranoid about water in my ears causing an infection that I became, and am still to this day, obsessed with using Q-tips to dry out the insides of my ears (which you're totally not supposed to do, but, hey, works for me!). I also try to avoid getting my ears wet, which is hard when you're trying to SWIM and generally ENJOY THE WATER.

My latest ear infection was four years ago, well into my twenties. The doctor said, "you're not supposed to get these past age three!" Yeah, thanks. I'll let my Eustachian tubes know that. I'll put 'em on probation or something.

It was such a bad ear infection that it required TWO rounds of antibiotics -- including one of the Anthrax drug, Cipro -- and a ten day course of prednisone (steroids) to clear it up. And even after the 'roids, my tube didn't ever open completely back up.

So I am left with a left ear that doesn't hear as well as the right. Because of an ear infection. Fabulous. (Diminished hearing is only one reason why I am already eighty-three years old. Tendonitis and arthritis are two others. Also another story for another time.)

In sum, I've been waiting for this day to come. I have actually been quite (pleasantly) surprised at how healthy Little Man has been. Of course, I did keep him in near total seclusion for the first six months of his life (due to doctor's orders -- prematurity and all), so that probably helped immensely.

I will have to be prepared for many more of these ear and other infections, and doctor's visits like this morning, marked by screaming and crying and heartbreaking sadness. My poor little Boo.

Little Man still has a fever, but the doctor said he should feel MUCH better in a few days. Since he's sleeping A LOT, I got to blog early today! At least something good came of it. Heh.

Truly Fascinating Subject Matter

My 100th post! I guess I'm "supposed" to do the great "100 things about me" post...let's see how far I can get. I'm also guessing that these "things" are supposed to be interesting...we'll see about that. HA!

1. I started dating the Warrior when I was a wee eighteen years old.
2. I got engaged to the Warrior at twenty-two years old, the fall after I graduated from University.
3. I got married to the Warrior more than six years after we started dating. I was twenty-four.
4. I met the Warrior through my friend, and his roommate, LouDog.
5. I am six, nearly seven, years younger than the Warrior.
6. I got butterflies when I met the Warrior. I thought he was cute, in a nerdy, glasses-wearing kind of way.
7. I had to convince Warrior to date me, because I was "too young" for him.
8. I said, "I love you" first. It just came out. He later told me that he could have said it after two weeks (TWO WEEKS, people!! I'm that damn good.) and it would have been true.
9. I'm still a bit peeved that he kept me waiting if he meant it earlier.

Speaking of peeves (back to Warrior later, I'm sure), I hate:
10. The expression, "pet peeves."
11. The word, "panties." They should ALL be underwear. It's like, "ooooh, PAN-ties." I think it's a sexist term, and it just makes me want to ralph.
12. When businesses don't have a website. I need to do research, people!
13. The expression, "teacher's pet." Hated it since grade school.
14. Internet Explorer (most of the time)(firefox RULZ).
15. Vista (blows my bloomin' arse).
16. Doing the dishes.
17. Folding laundry.
18. When my baby has a fever (right now it's 102.7 F). :(
19. How short the days are now (darn time change!).
20. Being late. Sadly, it is an all too common occurrence now that I am a mom.
21. Writing Thank You notes. I still have about 10 million to write for gifts from Little Man's birth. Ten months ago. Um, yeah. I have a serious problem. Sorry to all of my dear friends and family who have not received a note yet. Your gifts are truly appreciated. Truly.
22. The anxiety I feel when I think about un-written Thank You notes. (So why don't I just write them already??)

If you couldn't tell, I am:
23. A MAJOR procrastinator. If it can be done tomorrow, why not do it tomorrow?
24. Generally fairly messy. But clean. If that makes sense.
25. NOT a perfectionist. I got over that a looong time ago. I strive for a B+. And when that fails, a C will do.
26. Truthful to a fault at times.
27. A Sagittarius (see #26).

I am also:
28. Born in the year of the Goat (Sheep?? Something like that).
29. The second of four kids.
30. One of three sisters.
31. A voter.
32. Registered to "no party" since I can't fully commit myself to what the major parties believe in.
33. Liberal (it is Cali after all).
34. The daughter of two Libertarians. Until my Mom went Democrat in my teens (blame Bill).
35. Fatherless. He died of lymphoma when I was 19.

Some of my favorite foods are:
36. No-meat burritos. Repeat after me: beans (pinto), rice, cheese, sour cream, guacamole (a little hot sauce is good, too).
37. Nachos (like, the real deal, no Taco Bell stuff).
38. Carnitas burritos (a recent conversion; get this with black beans & lots of hot sauce).
39. Salt & Vinegar Potato chips.
40. Regular Potato Chips (another recent conversion, due to my elimination diet. It was like, the only "bad" food I could have).
41. Chocolate Mousse (a bonding point with Warrior -- our shared favorite dessert!).
42. Cereal (anything with granola clusters is always good).
43. Fried chicken tenders with...
44. French fries. Regular, curly, you name it, I like it.
45. Onion Rings.
46. Guacamole.
47. Avocado Rolls.
48. Chicken Terriyaki.
49. Pad Thai.
50. Any kind of curry dish -- red, green, yellow, don't matter.
51. Tom Ka Gai and Tom Ka Artichoke soups.
52. Broccoli.
53. Mangoes.
54. Papayas.
55. Cottage Cheese.
56. CHEESE! Roquefort, Brie, Cheddar, Jack, Manchego...mmmm. Damn elimination diet!
57. Chicken Satay w/ peanut sauce, mmm....
58. Peanut Butter (on toast, toasted bagels, sandwiches all w/ creamed honey, mmmm).
59. Chocolate.
60. Ice Cream.

I think I should stop the food category because:
61. I am a gourmand/foodie. I could go on and on about food.
62. Beautiful salads anyone? (a fruit, a nut and a cheese w/ balsamic vinaigrette, mmmm)(sorry I couldn't help myself).

Beverages I <3:>

63. Wine.
64. Margaritas.
65. Malibu & (usually diet) Coke.

66. MILK! Oh how I miss my milk. *sigh*

67. Milkshakes (malted or otherwise, CHOCOLATE 99% of the time).

68. WATER! Love it. Seriously.

69. My whole life (as long as I can remember), I've wanted to be a mom.

70. I was disappointed I didn't have a "regular" pregnancy (i.e., it ended too soon).

71. I have a hard time getting worked up for "causes," even when I have been directly affected by them -- lymphoma, prematurity, etc.
72. I can be extremely apathetic.

73. I have been called "crazy. But the good kind of crazy." (Thanks, k.) I took this as a compliment.

74. I have also been told by my mom and other friends that they've been "scared" of me.

75. Because you really don't want to piss me off.

76. I don't get pissed off often.

77. Annoyed, yes.

78. I forget easily annoyances by loved ones.

79. But I have an extremely good memory, which is a blessing and a curse.

80. Mom brain has stifled this memory excellence on occasion. I don't like my record being messed with.

81. I am usually the driver. It was 90% of the time before I got pregnant and then became a mom. See: Mom brain.

82. I am very good with directions and map reading. My sense of direction is quite remarkable.

83. We joke that I have a GPS in my brain. When I go someplace new, I am "uploading new maps" to my metal GPS.

84. Yes, I am dorky.

85. I don't "get" Burning Man and will probably never go.

86. I can be a bit uptight/prudish about certain things.

87. Warrior thought I was a "Santa Cruz hippie" when he first met me because I dressed up as one that first Halloween that we knew each other (before we were dating). Cracker.

88. I think being a "Cracker" can be a good thing, and if I'm calling you one, take it as a loving compliment.

89. I have never been to a screening of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." I have no desire to go at this point in my life, either (See: #85 and #86).

90. Warrior says that I am the funniest woman he knows.

91. The Rice Cracker (Mojo) also thinks I have fabulous (comedic) timing. You have to know me in real life for the full effect. (I think? Maybe it comes through in my writing....)

92. My eyes change color. They are mostly blue on the outer rim and gold on the inside. When my pupils get big, they look green. They can also look gray or aqua.
93. My hair changes color. Not usually naturally. Heh.
94. I am five foot four and three quarters. But I'll say I'm five-five and call it even.
95. My driver license lies.
96. I was extremely depressed for many years of my life. I am happy now. And I work hard to stay that way. Motherhood and hormones makes this hard.
97. I like to "help" people to a fault. I will give you advice on something you are trying to buy, whether you are a friend, or a stranger in a store. This annoys Warrior to no end. He thinks I should butt out. This also extends to "helping" in personal and familial relationships. You can't help those that don't want to be helped. I've learned to curb that for the most part.
98. When I want to do or buy something, I research the heck out of it. I spent an INSANE amount of time researching strollers and cribs and the like.

99. I am slightly addicted to the Internet. But I'm getting better.
100. It took me over five hours to complete this (what with feeding the baby, getting him to bed, dealing with a fever -- now up to 103.6! JOY!, etc.). I can't believe I have finished!

If ANY of you made it through this, PLEASE let me know. I will be eternally grateful. I will also let you know how LM is doing tomorrow. We see the doc in the morning. My poor little boo!

(I guess this post could also be called: Profile of a Cracker: #2.)

Oh Yeah, A Few Other Things...

Dear Little Man,

I forgot to tell you about a few key pieces of your development. YOUR MOVEMENT!!!

You are now army crawling with gusto, and in the last few days, you have begun to get both knees up and rest on all fours. Once in this position, if you can keep at it, you begin to slowly rock back and forth on your knees.

I've heard this is a key step for your crawling development. While I am excited to see you complete this milestone, it presents an even bigger challenge for me to keep watch over you.

We have set up and entire playroom for you in our Living Room, even though we said we would never be *THOSE* parents. Oh well. It just makes much more sense to give you a safe play space which is entirely dedicated to you rather than clean up another space over and over again.

You will learn quickly that both Daddy and I are HORRIBLE at keeping things tidy. Really, giving you the living room is a compromise that allows us to keep the family room for "adult" activities. You will also learn quickly that we are not very mature (see: Halo 3, pink hair, etc.). But DO NOT confuse this with us wanting to be YOUR FRIEND. Oh no, Little Cracker. We want to be YOUR PARENTS. NOT your FRIENDS.

We DO want you to love us immensely, but we want you to realize that while you live under OUR roof, you live under OUR rules. After you move out and become you own man, making your own decisions, we can be friends. Deal?

I love you with all my heart, my first born son (yes, this does mean we want to make you a sibling).

Until I think of something else,
love always,
Mama

Poetry In Motion

Husband is obsessed
Halo 3 is addictive
Please make it stop now

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Drool is everywhere
Four more teeth are coming through
Erupt quickly please!

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Day two of challenge
NaBloPoMo kicks my butt
Hopefully in gear

Bloggy friends miss me
I miss them too. Fewer hits
I've had. That's okay.

It's reciprocal
Hopefully they'll come back soon
I'm back on the horse.

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It's Haiku Friday.

When You're The Best of Friends????

The Big Guy shows Little Man his angry face.

You can hear the daddios talking to their boys (further proof that the Warrior does, in fact, exist).

The Mamas got to go out for massages while this was all happening. Happy Day!!

Poetic Last Day of the Week

All week I have thoughts
Of great haikus to write up
What happened to them?

----

I should be sleeping
On the Internet instead
Damn. When will I learn?

----

Video gaming
Husband is preoccupied
Writing about him

The Day I Had Been Waiting For

Five years ago today the Warrior asked for my hand in marriage. Actually it wasn't that formal. There was no getting down on one knee. No elaborate set-up of roses and champagne. What we had was each other, sitting side-by-side on the beach before sunset, and a ring, wrapped in an sunglasses cleaning cloth, smuggled to our engagement in the depths of Warrior's pocket.

Planning and formality have never been our strong suits. So it was appropriate that Warrior proposed marriage in true Cracker style. He looked over at me and after a huge gasp of confidence-building air, said, "VDog, will you marry me?" (Replace VDog with an embarrassing pet name we call each other.)

So I started laughing. Almost uncontrollably. Because he had been giving me this long spiel about us, and partnerships, and good teams, and all sorts of ridiculous things that somehow in his mind made a good case for us getting married.

I also laughed because he had taken a confidence-building gasp of air a few minutes earlier, but chickened out. Poor, nervous Warrior. It's not like he didn't know what my answer would be -- we had been talking engagement for a year, and had been dating four and a half years -- I undoubtedly was gonna say "yes."

He slipped the ring on my finger before I could even utter a word -- I was still too busy laughing. It was the funniest, cutest, most vulnerable moment I had (and have) ever shared with my husband. Eventually I got around to saying, "Yes, of course, you silly Warrior!" (Replace Warrior with embarrassing pet name as above.)

To celebrate, we were going to go to the restaurant overlooking the beach. But, of course, the restaurant had closed. Hmmph. So we went home to our teeny, dank apartment and made fish sticks. Yup. That's right. Fish sticks. And I really couldn't have cared less.

I DID make him get down on one knee twice that weekend. Once that night, and once the next day. Just because I wanted him to, and he was happy to oblige. (Because, you know, people ASK YOU if he got down on one knee when you get engaged!)

Confidential to Warrior: Thanks for being my (insert embarrassing pet name)! I love you!

Warrior sent my favorite flowers the morning of our wedding

It's Flashback Friday.

Um...

"How could you not smell that stench?"

"Oh really? I thought something was a little odd...you know my sense of smell is really bad."

Little Man woke up screaming at 1:30 this morning, then promptly went back to sleep. Warrior went to check on him, and somehow missed the overwhelming smell of pruney poop. Since Little Man realized he was being checked on, he decided to wake up for a little party.

I went in there, smelled the stink before I even got to his door, and did what mamas do -- changed his diaper, fed him, and put him back to bed. Oh, Little Man...always a surprise with you!

Skwish Classic

Warrior: FINALLY, a toy that keeps him quiet for a few minutes!

Little Man proceeded to use the Skwish as a teething toy and then as a mallet on his exersaucer quite rambunctiously. He was only kept quiet for a few minutes, while the toy was in his mouth. Then he erupted into his assault on the exersaucer. I don't think the boy knows the meaning of "quiet toy." Or book for that matter.

VDog to the Warrior

"We can't go to bed yet; I haven't finished blogging!"

Yes, I am dedicated to you, my loyal fanbase of seven. Heh. Please excuse my lazy posting schedule as we have been *busy.* Double heh.

Books, Walks & the Park

Family time is hard to come by in our house, what with a daddy that regularly comes home at 7pm and a baby that regularly goes to bed at 8pm. So we have to do our best to get in some all-together time on the weeknights. Weekends, however, are fair game. We usually try to spend as much time together as we can, and like to include the dog when possible.

Weeknight togetherness with a seven month old usually means sharing a book or some toys with the Little Man. It can also mean all of us -- including the dog -- watching Little Man have his way with some solid foods. One particularly interesting activity is watching dad iron a shirt for the next day. Seriously, people, I kid you not.

On the weekends we really get down to having some fun. The whole family gets out for a walk and enjoys the weather and scenery (we are lucky to live in a very verdant neighborhood). If we are feeling particularly motivated, we bring the picnic blanket and a few toys, and set up camp at a local park. Dad, Mom and Baby get to relax on the blanket while the dog wanders around, stimulating her senses. We can try to get the Little Man interested in the toys we brought or the rustling of the leaves in the trees overhead. When all else fails, there's always the baby swing. Mom or dad can push while the other takes photos.

Another popular family activity is called "photo shoot." We put the Little Man in a cute outfit, put down a backdrop, and start making fools of ourselves to get the baby to smile. We take turns being the photographer and smile maker, and it's a good time for all.

While it can be hard to make time for the family to share, it is the simple things that can make family time so wonderful.


This post is brought to you in conjunction with Parent Bloggers Network & EA’s Wii-Boogie, a family gaming experience. Shake it. Sing it. Create it.

Thankful

I hear the water running in our bathroom.
My husband is getting ready for bed.
I know that he will be in bed, quite possibly asleep by the time I am done feeding Little Man and getting him in bed.
And for a second I am jealous.
Jealous that he will get to sleep before me, tired mommy.
But then I look at Little Man and realize what a sweet, sweet time we get together.
Every night.
Warrior will never get this time with Little Man. It's all mine.
And I am thankful.

I wonder if Warrior would be jealous to know that I get this special time all to myself.
That he's missing out on something much larger than sleep.

I gaze at my son, in awe of his beauty and peacefulness. I am so glad to have these moments, and I try to mark these memories into my brain. Every week, a bigger boy in my lap.

I am thankful to be his Mommy.
I am so lucky he is mine.