17 Things About 17 Months

Dear Little Man,

Here are seventeen reflections on your seventeen months, since you turn eighteen months tomorrow. (Where did all the time go, my big boy??)

1) You can now RUN instead of just WALK. Greeeeeaaaatt.

2) You no longer like warm baths and instead prefer lukewarm ones. This is quite the problem for "family bath" time as your Father and I prefer warm baths, thank you very much.

3) You can now eat a whole ear of corn all by yourself. It's super cute and a great way to shut you up keep you occupied for ten minutes.

4) You are outgrowing your size five shoes, which I thought would *never* happen...I swear those things looked HUGE a few months ago!

5) You say and sign for "more." However, when you say "more" it sounds like "mo."

6) You have become a climber. You climb on your toys, on your highchair, on the kitchen stool...anything worth climbing, you climb. It's great fun for Mom.

7) You have two different personalities now -- one with your best girlfriend CC, and one with your best friend Aidan (the Big Guy). With CC you are totally crazy and outgoing, and with Aidan you are more relaxed and mellow.

8) You have become re-attached to nursing, mostly thanks to our nine day East Coast vacation, where you nursed for 50% of the flight there. Seriously.

9) However you are now able to go to bed without nursing, either with Daddy, Amy, or Grammy. This relieves Mommy greatly.

10) You stacked FIVE BLOCKS!!! on top of each other! I couldn't believe it! Your fine motor skills are THROUGH THE ROOF!!

11) You now say things with an upswing in your affect. For example, you say "NOooooAH!" It's really cute and helps Mom keep her cool when you say "No" over and over again.

12) You have finally entered your "No" phase. (Heh.)

13) Amy and CC have introduced you to "Ring around the rosy." You LOVE it, most of all the DOOOWWWN!! part. It's pretty much the whole point of the dance and song for you. You are SO cute falling to the ground.

14) While in the double stroller you and CC hold hands. SO precious! (Oooooh, Little Man's got a GIRLfriend!!)

15) You can now answer my questions about what you want. However, "No" also means "Yes." A "no" without a facial expression, or with a "no" facial expression means "no." A "no" with a huge smile means "yes." You are too cute, mister.

16) You are obsessed with your "Potty Train" DVD and LOVE to say, "choo-choo" but are CLEARLY not anywhere near ready to potty train, even though you can sign "potty" and sit on your potty (fully clothed of course).

17) You keep me guessing every step of the way. Previously you HATED books, and now you LOVE them, with a passion. I don't "get" you all of the time, kid, but I LOVE YOU. You are totally My Cracker.

I hope you won't hold it against me that I have not been able to keep you totally up to date on all of your accomplishments. Just try to think of yourself as a second child, like I was, and be thankful for what you DO have. Like all of the photos.

All my love, my big, big, almost eighteen month old boy,

Mama

Two Weeks

Two weeks since I last posted. Two weeks. I've seriously lost my blogging mojo.

I'm having an internal struggle with the nature of blogging. How much do I want to share? If I don't want to share some special moments, but feel like blogging them is the only way they are going to get recorded, what do I do?

This blog is largely a way for me to record my son's progress and life and to explore my new role as a mother. I'm terrible at keeping a diary/journal, and haven't even purchased a physical baby book for the Little Man. Keeping this blog felt like something I could do -- occasionally updating to record his milestones and show my friends and family, and myself, how much he has changed over the last year+.

I've been selfish lately, wanting to keep these memories all to myself. But I also understand that these memories get lost, and misremembered, when I don't record them in some way. And I desperately want to remember every detail...they are already starting to fade.

If I had the courage to ignore the fact that much of my extended family reads this blog, I would tell you about more intimate moments, many of them involving my boobs. Not because I think you'd be interested, but because nursing has been such a HUGE part of our relationship, and it's important for me to remember and record those moments.

I'd like to tell you (preserve the memory for myself) how we're still nursing, at least four times a day. How I love laying in bed with him in the morning, having a big nurse, both of us closing our eyes and trying to wake up a little more before starting our day. I'd tell you about how he can find the "target" with such ease and grace now, not even needing assistance from me to begin nursing. It truly amazes me how well he takes care of business now. It is such a dramatic departure from what we were doing a year ago, struggling to stop using the nipple shield.

I would tell you how much it amuses me, and makes me proud, strangely enough, that he bobbles my breast in his hands and opens wide, bringing his comfort deftly to his mouth.

I would tell you about how much part of me wants to wean, and part of me is grasping onto every last moment.

I would tell you about how embarrassing it can be when we're in public and my son is literally ripping my shirt off because he's upset or tired and wants to nurse. I would also tell you about how sweet it is that he sometimes just wants to put his hand down my shirt, without urgency, for comfort.

*****

I would tell you about how this blogging thing makes me a bit uncomfortable when I see people in real life who I know keep up with the blog. It is funny when people know what is going on with your life even when you haven't spoken to them in days or months. I guess that's the nature of blogging though -- to share your life. Yes?

It is surprising to me when people DO mention what they've seen on the blog, and also when they DON'T. This makes me censor myself.

*****

I would tell you about how I desperately want to use the Little Man's real name when I talk about him, but feel like that's really not an option because of how my family feels about this being a public blog. I just really feel like there is a fakeness to my writing when I can't really talk about "us." I'm talking about VDog & Little Man, our online personae, rather than Victoria & her son.

I'm considering using a psuedonym, because while perhaps not any less "fake," it would at least allow my to use a real name, and not just "Little Man."

He won't always be a little man.

*****

I would tell you about how busy my son is keeping me, and how much I am enjoying paying attention to him.

I would tell you about how I am spending more time with my husband. I am more present in my evenings with him when I am not trying to blog at the same time.

*****

In short, my life is very full of wonderful things. Making time to blog has just not been important to me lately. I have a lot of topics I WANT to blog about, but part of me is holding back, because a) I don't have that much time to blog anymore, and b) I am afraid of overstepping familial boundaries for the sake of a funny or personally fulfilling post.

I'm not sure how much of "me" I'm willing to share.

*****

I got my first offer to review something last week. I am excited to be getting an advance copy of The Rookie Mom's Handbook. I'll let you know what I think very soon.

*****

We had Little Man's fifteen month appointment today. He is doing so well. I'll fill you in on the complete details later.

*****

If after all this, you STILL care about VDog & Little Man, you may want to consider adding me to your reader or signing up for email updates. That way you'll know when I actually post again. Either that, or, you know, obsessively check back for updates. Whatever works for you.

Best,
V

Sentimental

Nursing on my mind
Impostor Mom has weaned Boog
Don't think we're ready

------

It's Haiku Friday.

Now that Little Man is taking a sippy cup, the option of starting to wean is there, but I don't think we're ready just yet. I feel like this is going to go on forever, but not in a bad, oppressive way, if that makes any sense. It just seems like something we do, and I can't imagine our life without it.

Yesterday we didn't nurse immediately after the afternoon nap, as we usually do. Two hours later he was frantic to nurse (he had been drinking water from a sippy in the meantime, so it's not as if he was thirsty). I'm reading this as "he's not ready."

Impostor Mom's son, Boog, is only a few days older than Little Man. Boog's interest had been waning, and they had a natural, baby-led weaning experience. That's what I want for Little Man and myself. It seems far off at this point. I know I'll be sad when it happens.

------

Little Man seems to be dropping his morning nap -- at least that's what some of my friends said when I described this week's naps (or lack thereof).

He's almost one year corrected age, and fourteen months chronological age. Is this about the time? I want that morning nap!! I usually sleep then, too. I am really tired this week. ;)

Any thoughts on moving naps and holding on to my sanity are welcome.
*
Have a great weekend everybody. I have some SUPER cute pictures of the Little Man for Weekly Winners on Sunday, and I need to thank all of our wonderful March for Babies supporters. See you then!

13 Things I Love About 13 Months

For my second Thursday Thirteen ever, I give you Thirteen Things I Love About Little Man Being Thirteen Months Old:

1. He can communicate better. He knows how to sign for nurse, eat, all done and dog. He also barks like a dog, says, "MMMMmmmmm" when he sees a food he likes/wants, and grunts/complains when something isn't to his liking.

2. He still rests his head on my chest and sucks his thumb when he's tired and/or just needs mommy. I love this and soak up every second I can get.

3. It's cute to see him cruising around. All of his age-appropriate (not corrected age) accomplishments truly amaze me.

4. Cruising means SHOES!! Which means shopping for Little Man.

5. His hair is long and super cute:

Hair! from VDog on Vimeo.

6. He is nursing less. While I love the comforting magic and super powers of the boobs, we were still nursing 8-12 times a day at nine months. Now, we're at probably 6 times a day, with "magical quick nips" here and there. It is RARE that we nurse less than 6 times a day.

7. He can actually play with Sasha (harasses her is more like it) and generally LOVES dogs. He has a love affair with the Norwich Terrier puppy across the street (Hector), and grins, giggles, and squishes up his face when Hector tries to kiss him. Little Man also uses his arm in a "get off me!" kind of way when Hector is getting all up in his grill, which is SUPER CUTE.

Doggy Time from VDog on Vimeo.

8. He now studies things with his eyes and hands/fingers instead of his mouth. This means I can give him my cell phone (oooh...craaaack) without worrying about him flooding the motherboard with drool.

9. He is now in LOOOOOVE with his Daddy.

10. He now has the cutest toothy smile (8 teeth so far!).

11. He can now eat cheese and yogurt!

12. And drink from a sippy cup!! Woot!

13. He's not a baby, not quite a toddler. Totally cute! I'm holding on to the last semblances of babyhood.

Because I Haven't Posted A Video In Approximately 3.7 Days

Sippy! from VDog on Vimeo.

Little Man has started "fake" eating and drinking, which is super cute. He pulls food out of the air, or an empty paper bag, and pretends to put it in his mouth. It really is one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Problem is that he does it when he thinks no one is watching -- when he's just off in space cadet land by himself. So once he notices me watching him, he gets kinda shy. Thus, no video of that -- yet.

I've been working on getting Little Man to take a sippy cup from about four months on. He has always regarded it as something to play with and chew on. Now that he is "drinking" from paper cups in the bath tub (actually he does get some bath water some of the time), and generally mimicking our eating and drinking behavior, he has finally learned how to use the sippy like a normal baby. And for that I am grateful.

In other news, we have started daytime weaning much by default. A few "Dad"urdays (Saturdays) with Warrior off and on have made Little Man less intense about the boob during the day.
Little Man has even gone down for a nap two Saturdays in a row without nursing first. (Totally unbelievable to me!) This past Saturday, I was even there with him, and he just didn't want to nurse. Before OR after his nap. I was SHOCKED!

That's the news from our neck of the woods! Hope you all are well and thriving.
-VDog

Round the Bend and Back Again

I'm sorry my friends
Been really busy lately
Love that you email

Stop by my Buzz page
Wondering where did she go?
Crazy but good week

Huge sigh of relief
A let down of emotion
I cried tears of joy

My baby is fine,
According to the doctors.
Holter was normal

His poo was blood-free
New GI doc was a dream
Said blood was minor

In her opinion
The least worrisome symptom
Of an allergy

Really? Blood in poop?
WTF? How can that be?
With that one symptom

She said, I don't have
Moms change their diet at all
Wait just a second

I thought, is this real?
Are you fucking kidding me?
My diet for naught?

Nine months without milk?
Five of those without citrus,
Wheat and much much more?

It was hell on me
Worth it for my Little Man
Or so I had thought!

He won't take any
Mom substitute, starting at
Three months. Boobs only

And all of the time
Guess you can't beat skin to skin
For my Little Man

It's been such a ride
So many worries and tests
This first year of life

I hope this next one
Is a wee less exciting
For my sanity

-----

Insomnia sucks
Blog posts running through my head
Why do I lay there

When I could get up
And blog till my heart's content?
Guess I hold out hope

That sleep will come soon
I fear the 4:30 feed
So I stay in bed

-----

So, yes, I've been really busy -- Mom's group outings, doctor appointments, my sister's birthday -- but also really preoccupied. It's been such a relief to finally have a "normal" baby (I know this is such a subjective thing, but from the get-go, things haven't gone "normally" or the way that they are "supposed to"). It hasn't quite sunk in yet. I am grieving for this last year+ of worry and doctors, and hospitals, and being strong.

Of course, I am very happy, but it is mostly a feeling of relief. Like a giant weight has been lifted off my chest. I feel like I don't have to hold my breath anymore. It's still processing in my brain and I almost can't believe what has happened these last two weeks.

First, the pediatrician said he was doing great. Then the cardiologist says everything looks great; "normal." The holter study came back normal. So now if I notice that LM has a fast heart rate, we'll just take him to the Children's Hospital ER, but this is unlikely to happen. No more monitoring, no more special heart doctor.

Then we go to the GI doctor this week and it's a whole different experience from the last few times.

First, a little background: we had a male doctor who had been really harsh with me at times, who had been insistent on my extremely strict diet, and when that didn't work quickly enough, he seriously wanted my to force my son to drink (completely disgusting) hypo-allergenic formula.

So the last time we saw him, things went well. Dr. H was very blase about the whole situation. I thought it was odd, but was glad that he was more positive. So I went to check out and make the follow up appointment for two months from then (late Sept.). I was told that they "didn't have his schedule yet," and to call back in a week. I called back the satellite office where we had been seeing Dr. H. They said, "he doesn't work out of this office anymore. Let me transfer you to the Main Campus."

Okay...no problem. Right?? So they transfer me and then the person at the Main Campus says that he doesn't work in that office anymore! WTF?? So I had to make an appointment with a new doctor, and since LM wasn't one of "their" patients, we had to wait until this week to see someone.

Okay, this week. We go to the new GI doctor. She is wonderful. The nurse is wonderful. They both oooh and aahhh over Little Man, who is being completely charming, despite only having had a short nap in the car on the way there.

We go over the history. They evaluate him. He gets high scores from the nurse and doctor. We get told to HAVE SOME DAIRY ALREADY!!!

So I'm trying fluid milk this week, and if Little Man has no reaction, we can try some for him. Yippee!! I honestly CAN. NOT. BELIEVE. IT.

I am also a bit annoyed that two doctors had such differing opinions on the course of action that would have been appropriate. The new GI doc said that the only worry with the blood in the stools is if they become anemic. And then she would have just prescribed an iron supplement.

I know it's all a moot point now, but I can't help but feel a bit frustrated that all of my hard work and struggle was perhaps not necessary. I'm sure I'll get over it. Ay caramba.

Oh yeah! And we're off the heart medicine and the acid reflux medicine for good it seems. I really just can't get over how lucky we are. I know it's been a hard year, but I DO feel very lucky that Little Man's "problems" have (hopefully) only lasted a year. I know that we will most certainly face other hardships and tests in the future, but right now I'm exhaling, and I don't plan on holding my breath for anything else (especially unknowns).

Okay, I know I don't usually swear (save for ass and crap and stuff I don't really think is "that bad") but hey, the 'ku needed it, and it's what I thought and said to Warrior when I relayed how the visit went. Hopefully my family won't hold it against me!

In bloggy news, I REALLY want to be back "in it" if ya know what I'm saying, but I haven't been getting much screen time with the compy, so forgive me if I'm being a "bad blog friend." I need to start "blogging without guilt." Heheh.

Have a great weekend, everybody, and I CAN promise some Weekly Winners on Sunday -- I took some good ones on our adventures out and about!

Haiku Update

It's been a big week
One year pediatrician
Well child appointment

Monday. Thursday was
The last cardiologist
Visit, hopefully

Heart and head healthy,
Big things for my Little Man ~
I am so thankful!

So Monday we had the ONE YEAR APPOINTMENT!!!! We made it! Woohoo!! Here's how the Little Man stacked up (I post these for family & friends; I've been told it is one of their favorite things to read about):

Head circumference = 48.5 cm = 95% (HUGE considering he was two months early. And actually he jumped from the 90% at 9 months, so we're just gonna wait and see how he measures at the 15 month appointment -- if he jumps again, we'll do a head ultrasound to check for hydrocephaly, which is common among preemies, but right now the doc doesn't think it's a concern, since his cognitive abilities are on-track. The doc asked if large heads run in the family, lol, which they do!)

Height = 30 inches = 60% (roughly, he wasn't cooperating very well during this measurement!)

Weight = 19lbs 4oz = 6% (up 14+ pounds from birth, though!)

So the Little Man continues with his supermodel body type -- huge head on a tall, skinny body. All cuteness.

It's hard to believe that a year ago he was a tiny baby in the hospital, and now he's almost a little boy!

Yesterday we went for what I hope was our last appointment with the cardiologist. They did an EKG, which was normal, we chatted with the doctor for a little bit, and then he was fitted with a holter monitor, which is basically a 24hr EKG.

As long as the holter study results come back with no arrhythmia's, Little Man will no longer have to be on medication or see the cardiologist. He came off of the medicine about ten days ago to "challenge" him for the holter study. If he has another episode, we will have to go to the hospital and get an EKG and go back on medicine for the foreseeable future. But the doctor is hopeful that Little Man has outgrown this quirk.

Big head, nice shoulders, skinny body

With his "iPod"

Monitor leads & super cool shirt holding it all on

Since he wasn't crawling the last time he had a holter study, this was the first time he got this AWESOME shirt to keep the monitor in place. Before they just rubber banded it to his onesie.

I gave him the light-up pen that my phlebotomist gave me when he found out I was pregnant so that I could take the monitor off of him.

All the people in the cardiologist's office came to say Hi to him, since he was so cute (as always) and was one of the only babies in the office not crying.

I'll find out next week what the results of the holter study are.

Next week we see the GI doc (more on THAT drama later) to check in about the milk protein allergy issue. Hopefully we'll be done with that office, too!

Have a great weekend, everyone!!

New Trick

He can't get up there by himself, but he's totally obsessed with standing and holding onto the edge. He even makes his way around the perimeter over and over again, stopping along the way for baby squats and hanging off the rail. If he falls down, he complains until you pick him back up and put him on the edge again. Silly Bunny.

Mostly Wordless Wednesday.

Le Sigh

I just had a trying dinner with the Little Man, to say the least. He wouldn't eat anything I put in front of him. Not even Cheerios. It was that damn bad.

I managed to get some baby food down him, and his reflux medicine.

By the end of the meal, both my shirt and pants were wet.

He refused to take his nap this afternoon, which no doubt was the reason for him being Fussy McFusserson tonight. But the rest of the day had been nice. What happened? Ugh.

++++++++

Little Man has managed to chip his left front tooth after he had it for only about two weeks. This says to me that I am in serious trouble for the future. I have no idea how he did it. I can only "look forward" to more of his craziness as he gets older.

+++++++

Today at Gymboree I got the dreaded dropped octave "Oh." You know the one? Where the person you are talking to lowers their voice and gives you that, "OH" (while they think to themselves, "how awful, OMG, what do I say now?").

We are trying out the "Level 3" classes since that is the age range Little Man is supposed to be in now -- 10 to 16 months -- and the minimum requirement skills-wise is that they be able to crawl. These classes are a whole different beast than the mellow, barely moving and shaking Level 2 classes for the 6 to 10 month olds.

I've noticed that Little Man is by far the least advanced and the shrimpiest out of the kids (but to be fair, there are SIXTEEN MONTH OLDS (!!!) there).

One boy I saw looked somewhat in the same range as Little Man, size-wise, so I asked how old "Jack" was. The mom said, "one next week."

She asked me about Little Man and I said that he'll be one three weeks from today, on New Year's Day.

"Oh, wow! When did you go in the hospital? When did you know?" she asked.

"Actually I went into the hospital with pre-term labor on December 19th at 30 weeks, and he was born at 32 weeks," I replied.

"Oh."
"Well he seems to be fine now!"

"Yeah, he's doing great," I shrank, absorbing the "Oh" of pity.

I haven't gotten that "oh" in a long time. Since Little Man has grown so tall, I've stopped getting the OMFG, WHY is your baby SO SMALL?!?!?!

Once, when he was five months old, a woman asked if he was two months old. That one really hurt.

It's so hard when I feel like people think that there's something "wrong" with my baby.

I can't believe the number of people who asked me in the last month if Little Man is walking yet. I mean, how many full-term ten month old boys do you know that are walking?? I don't know any. Grr....

+++++++

I'm feeling sensitive and a bit raw today.

*Le Sigh.*

The Sweetest Sounds

Some babbling going on....

In other news, Little Man had his top two teeth break through on Sunday night/Monday morning. So it was a rough night for all of us, with much screaming involved.

For now, enjoy the sweet, sweet sounds of my Little Man. Makes me misty within the first few seconds. I am so over the moon about this kid of mine.

Oh Yeah, A Few Other Things...

Dear Little Man,

I forgot to tell you about a few key pieces of your development. YOUR MOVEMENT!!!

You are now army crawling with gusto, and in the last few days, you have begun to get both knees up and rest on all fours. Once in this position, if you can keep at it, you begin to slowly rock back and forth on your knees.

I've heard this is a key step for your crawling development. While I am excited to see you complete this milestone, it presents an even bigger challenge for me to keep watch over you.

We have set up and entire playroom for you in our Living Room, even though we said we would never be *THOSE* parents. Oh well. It just makes much more sense to give you a safe play space which is entirely dedicated to you rather than clean up another space over and over again.

You will learn quickly that both Daddy and I are HORRIBLE at keeping things tidy. Really, giving you the living room is a compromise that allows us to keep the family room for "adult" activities. You will also learn quickly that we are not very mature (see: Halo 3, pink hair, etc.). But DO NOT confuse this with us wanting to be YOUR FRIEND. Oh no, Little Cracker. We want to be YOUR PARENTS. NOT your FRIENDS.

We DO want you to love us immensely, but we want you to realize that while you live under OUR roof, you live under OUR rules. After you move out and become you own man, making your own decisions, we can be friends. Deal?

I love you with all my heart, my first born son (yes, this does mean we want to make you a sibling).

Until I think of something else,
love always,
Mama

Ten Months In

Dear Little Man,

Just two days ago you turned ten months old. I can't believe how quickly you have grown, and how quickly our time together as Mama and (infant) baby has gone by. It seems like just yesterday that you looked like this:

Little Man, almost four weeks, still in the NICU
(Both pics)

Now, you look like this:

In the last few weeks, you have blossomed into a little boy right before my eyes! You have had an explosion of progress in your finger food eating and language abilities.

Last month, I was afraid to give you Cheerios. Now you eat black beans and kernels of corn whole. You eat chopped up chicken burger and tofu. Even well steamed carrots are not off limits. Your pincer grasp is becoming more refined by the day. (I know last month I said that you HATED corn and tofu, but apparently I was just giving you the wrong kind -- pureed corn and silken tofu? Blech. Whole corn and baked Terriyaki tofu? A-okay!)

In the beginning of the month, you would put one piece of food at a time in your mouth. Now you are practicing the chipmunk look and storing food in your cheeks to chew later. This is mostly because your motor skills have improved enough for you to get copious amounts of food to your mouth at once rather than scant amounts.

In just the last week, your language capabilities have begun to catch up to the BigGuy's. I think you got jealous of him saying, "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" over and over again. You had to do something to keep up. So now you are saying, "Da da da da, DA!" It's the most wonderful thing for your father to hear. I love it too. I know you'll get Mama soon.

In the morning, instead of just crying out for us to come get you, you practice your babbling and shrieks of delight for a solid ten minutes -- or more! -- if we let you.

Another funny thing you have been doing is at meal time. While you are in your highchair, you will start to lean back and lift your chin to the sky, with an exaggerated smile. You seem to be doing this purely for our benefit. It's almost as if you want to prove what a silly little monkey you are to us. You get this squinty eyed grin going, coupled with a look of self-satisfaction that is absolutely priceless. We can't help but laugh at you.

You are also learning what it means to drop things from your highchair. You have two reasons to drop things right now: 1) for the effect of the drop -- hearing the thud and watching mommy (hopefully) pick up and return what you dropped, and 2) to feed Sasha.

You seem genuinely pleased when you feed Sasha. Sasha now loves chopped up tofu and whole kernels of corn, too. The black beans? Not so much. Unfortunately, I have to clean those up.

We've also been on project fatten up around here. I am feeding you an egg yolk custard once a day, and also stir coconut milk into your oatmeal in the morning. Your egg yolk custards consist of one egg yolk and two tablespoons of either coconut milk or chicken stock, cooked over low heat until, well, custardy. (Ok, sometimes I cheat and do it in the microwave, but it's not nearly as smooth that way. The upside, though, is that it only takes a minute!) (You are enjoying the chicken stock ones best most recently.)

You are DEFINITELY getting heavier. The strange thing is that only your stomach and cheeks are getting bigger. You have quite the physique now. Daddy and I joke that you are "just the perfect specimen of manhood." And then we laugh at you. Sorry, buddy. But you are INCREDIBLY cute. And SOOOO skinny in your arms and especially your legs. (See picture #4 above.)

Last month, we were ready (Daddy for the most part) to say that you were sitting up. Now you can sit for up to ten minutes at a time! You have really developed your ability to sit and appreciate things, or patience, or whatever you want to call it. You seem to be able to sit and survey the situation, rather than just dive right into it, in an effort to plan out your next best move.

Previously, you would just go for it. Screw what the next best move was -- you wanted THAT toy RIGHT THERE and you wanted it NOW! Now you think, "mmm, MAYBE that toy, but MAYBE this toy. Let me see. Oh look! There's the tractor! Let's get that! No, wait! SASHA!! Yes, let's get Sasha! That'll be fun!"

Speaking of the CrackerDog, you and her have gotten even closer in the last month. She loves seeing you and wants to give you kisses. You love seeing her -- you get a HUGE smile on your face and kick your legs -- and want to explore her.

Unfortunately, your trust in Sasha has extended to ALL dogs, and while I love that you're not AFRAID of dogs, I wish you would be more cautious. Most dogs don't respond to tail, ear and muzzle pulling by just laying there and taking it. This is definitely a lesson we will have to work on in the future, because you think you can put your hands in any dog's face, which is just not the case.

You like to put your hands all up in Mom and Dad's faces, too. You don't know the meaning of "gentle" yet, so it pretty much means we get gouged. Luckily for me, you've been biting WAY less, and I am SO thankful. You haven't yet gouged any of your friends, mostly because of attentive mommies and daddies. You are a quick one, my love!

You still love your nursing and are only mildly interested in sippy/drinking cups. I'm beginning to worry that breast milk will be your only fluids for the foreseeable future. I can only hope you'll take to the cup eventually soon.

As for those teeth I thought would be coming in, well, they haven't. But they seem MUCH closer to the surface. You have four bulges, two on the bottom on either side of the ones you already have, and the two top front teeth. Looks like you got Momma's slow teeth, for sure. I'm hoping, for both of us, that they come in quickly and as painlessly as possible.

You have also been super funny with your tongue lately. I'm not sure what you think you can do with it, but it seems to hold special powers for you. You are exploring all sides of your mouth and gums with your tongue. You stick your tongue out at us and laugh when we reciprocate.

You are just one funny little dude, my love. You continually amaze me with your progress and love for your family. I am really enjoying this stage you are at -- not quite a baby, definitely not a toddler -- completely adorable.

Best wishes to my long and lanky dude.

All my love,
Mama

Our Weekend Was Craptastic

The Little Man had his nine month appointment on Friday. He got shots (no mercury in them, woohoo!). He's never had a reaction to vaccinations before.

This time, however, he had a "let's party in the middle of the night" reaction. Fun stuff. Which means he was tired and cranky the next day. Which carried over to the next day, and then the next.

This morning he was up from 4am to 5:30, then up for the day before 6:30. Which means that Mama's rope, which was short yesterday, is even shorter today. These are the "get through the day," days of motherhood.

I want the "happy puppies and bunnies days" back. And soon, please. A little sleep thrown in would be oh so nice as well.

Here are the Little Man's stats:

Weight: 16lbs 8oz = 3rd % (yes, he is very skinny, but he has more than tripled his birth weight)

Height (length): 29 inches (!!!) = 75th % (he is one long dude!)

Head Circumference: 47 cm = 90th % (he has one big-ass head!)

I think he has a future as one of those lollipop headed super models.

Here is the one who is currently terrorizing me, complete with a toothy grin, by request:





He's lucky he's so cute. Otherwise the hair pulling, face clawing, scratching, pinching, blood-drawing, nipple and shoulder biting, screaming, pooping repeatedly at all hours of the night, not sleeping goodness might be a little hard to take.

Oh, Little Man

Dear Little Man,

I know I just wrote to you, but we need to talk. There's a few issues (ahem) that I think we could work on.

First of all, this blowing bubbles in the food business has just got to stop. You know you need to eat your food! Are you trying to get Mama in trouble with the Doctor again?

Second, is it really necessary for you to be getting up two or more times a night? I mean, still? Really??? Is it really necessary to practice crawling in the middle of the night?

You're a big boy now -- I thought we were clear on this issue. What happened to the ten hour nights?

Mama would like some uninterrupted sleep -- and soon. Do you think you could accommodate that request? That would make Mama sssoooooo happy.

Third, I'm a little fed up with all this constant flipping over and reverse diaper changes. Do you have to be in motion all the time? Sometimes I have to take you for a stroller walk or put you in a bouncy seat just to contain you for a little while. So much energy being expended! Seems like you should sleep through the night when you're active ALL DAY LONG, mister!

That's probably enough for you to work on for right now. You did have some exciting firsts today, sweet bunny.

You had your first ride in the grocery cart seat, albeit a small cart, with our fleece sling as a support to hold you in a bit better. You seemed to really enjoy the new perspective, especially the close proximity to the merchandise. You also tried, successfully, to lick and bite the handle bar of the cart once you were bored of the shopping. That was really great.

Later, at JC and CC's house, you got up on all fours. You were locked and loaded in crawling position, but didn't attempt it. You also got into push-up position several times in a row -- the first time you have been able to do so. You showed off your mad rolling skillz to JC and thoroughly impressed her. You amaze me, too, little cutie.

Give some thought to my requests. I would be ever so grateful if you would help me out -- or meet me in the middle! I'll take what I can get!

Congratulations on your accomplishments, Boo. I look forward to more new tricks. :)

All my Love,
Mama

Out of the Womb and Into Everything

Dear Little Man,

Today you turn nine months old. This month reminds me that you should have stayed "on the inside" for nine months, instead of seven+. You see, most moms get to say, "now you've been on the outside as long as you were on the inside." For me, that milestone came two months ago, when it should have come one week ago (nine months from your due date).

This is only one of the things that makes me feel sad that you came early -- that I have a preemie. I am not sad that you wanted to start off the New Year with a bang, just sad that your path has been a bit harder than some other babies'. But you have not shied away from your challenges. This is where Mommy and Baby are alike. We have both stared down this difficult path and beaten it with a stick left, right and center.


Right now, though, I want to tell you about your accomplishments -- not what you have dealt with and overcome, but what you are able to do despite your prematurity.

Just in the last week you have been able to sit for an extended period of time. Daddy and I are now confident enough to say, "Yes, he's sitting up!" It took a few weeks of wobbling, but you are doing it now!

I think your nature is to be on the move constantly, so it was hard for you to sit and appreciate the fact that you COULD sit, that you didn't have to be reaching out for things all the time. You could just sit and look at CrackerDog Sasha, instead of laboring to get closer to her.

Which brings me to how you move -- you roll like nobody's business! You can do a quadruple roll now, which means that WE NEED BABY GATES. You spin and scoot and heartily attempt to get your bum and chest off the ground at once.

Just a few short months ago, you were content rolling and rotating within the borders of your play mat. Not anymore. Now you cover some serious tracks, rolling from the mat to the kitchen, over to Sasha's bed, and back to the mat.

Just the other day, you made your way over to the cabinets and tried to pull on the handle to get off the floor. You are interested in so much more now. It's almost as if you got rid of your tunnel vision and are seeing the rest of the world for the first time.

Your cognitive abilities have truly amazed me lately. You know your name and Sasha's name perfectly. We think you know "Daddy" but you're still working on "Mama." That's okay. We're always together, and I don't usually refer to myself in the third person, so I'll cut you some slack on that one.

You eat with great gusto, something you must have inherited from me. Your skinny physique, though, is all Daddy. You are definitely looking like Warrior, Jr.

Some of your favorite foods are bananas (but NOT the jarred kind), sweet potatoes, apples, and most recently, carrots. You also eat oatmeal, prunes, apricots and chicken. You REALLY don't like corn and tofu -- you gag and make faces and refuse to open your mouth. You're not so sure about peas, and avocados are sometimes a hit and sometimes a miss. We tried rice cereal for your first food, but you broke out in eczema all over your body. So we stopped that for awhile and when we tried again, you barfed it ALL up. Even though your pediatrician said, "no one's ever allergic to rice!" we haven't tried it again.

Your first two teeth came in within four days of each other early last month. Since then, there hasn't been much progress, but I think you might be getting another tooth soon. You are putting your fingers in your mouth again and were uncharacteristically fussy last night.

I kind of miss your gummy smile, but you DO look awful cute with those two little teethies. I don't fully appreciate the teeth, though, because you like to test them out on me quite often. I tell you, "no bite. That hurts Mommy." But you just smile and moon at me most of the time. A few times, I have scared you and made you cry, which makes me feel terrible, but I usually get a few day bite reprieve from this tactic.

Overall you are a pretty mellow dude so far. Your GranCracker says you are an easy baby, and she should know since she's a mom to three and a grandmom to eight. You are generally very happy, but you can be hard to impress.

People trying to get you to laugh or smile sometimes have to work pretty hard to get any joy. However, you smile HUGE for Mama and Papa just because you love us. You smile and laugh at Sasha, too, because apparently you think she's hilarious.

I can't wait to see what the rest of your first year will bring. I'm sure you'll be officially crawling before we know it (and can prepare for it) and doing lots of other cool stuff that is beyond your "corrected" age.

Right now, though, I'm happy enjoying you and the stage you're in. I want to try to remember everything, to indelibly mark the you-ness in my brain. You fill me with so much love and light, my sweet, sweet boy.

Until next time,
I love you with all my heart,
Mama

This Week, In Numbers

7: Times Little Man has bitten me with his new teeth while nursing.

7: Number of times Little Man has smiled in glee at me after being admonished for biting.

101.9: Highest recorded temperature.

6: Hours that Little Man was MISERABLE from the fever (and who knows what else).

2: Number of times Little Man got up last night (YAY!!).

16lbs1oz: Number on the scale at the Cardiologist's yesterday.

28: Number of inches the Little Man measures now! Big boy!

1: Number of future visits likely with the Cardiologist (SUPER YAY! It went well).

2: Number of weird poops before the diarrhea set in.

5: Number of diarrhea diapers.

1: Worried mommy because her baby has never had diarrhea before.

1: Unworried Pediatrician (heh).

1: GranCracker who thinks fever + diarrhea could mean another tooth (anyone experience this?).

3: Number of days I've been thinking about doing this post.

1: Number of bloggers who beat me to the punch.

Profile of a Cracker at 7 months

You are now seven months old, #5, and oh what a Cracker you have become. You are definitely taking after your comrades in Crackerness. Your Uncle Cracker, #3, has been schooling you in the art of the break off (like ralphing all over me at the most opportune moments). Your Dad and I, #'s 1 and 2, respectively, are trying to teach you how to embrace your inner Cracker and be yourself, even if this means farting in front of company and downloading a doozy in your pants. #4 is trying to hold it all together for the rest of us, bringing in the sweetness and light (and her own particular style of Cracker as well). Our friends #'s 6 & 7 bring over your friend and NICU roommate, #8, for play dates, and to assure you that you're not the only Cracker baby.

Let's talk about your eating...you definitely do that Crackah-style. You used to breastfeed, like, ALL THE FRICKIN' TIME. #7 even asked, "is there ever a time that kid's (that being you, #5) NOT on your boob?" Yes, it was that serious. I have never known a kid that has EVER eaten as much or as often as you.

Then one day, you just weren't as interested. Too much other cool stuff to check out. "No problem, I can always eat later," seemed to be your attitude. And so we started solid foods...



Your previous fervor for the boob has now transferred to eating solids. You scratch and claw at my hand, trying to bring the spoon to your mouth. At first, you totally dug the rice cereal. Then we tried avocado, and there was no going back. Now you won't even open your mouth for rice cereal, only avocado. Smart boy. Definitely Crackah-style. Why have something good when you could have something even better?



Your general demeanor is definitely different from a lot of other babies I see as well. Apparently your Crackerness is inherent. You writhe so wildy and with such fervor that sometimes we think something's wrong with you. But it's probably just because you're a Cracker, just like Mom and Dad.

At Gymboree, you move unlike any of the other babies there. And your shrieking -- MY GOODNESS!!! THE SHRIEKING!! -- would cause any "normal" parent to seek help. But I think it's just your normal Cracker glee coming out. I think you scared some of the other moms there AND made them thankful that they don't have to parent a little Cracker.

But you are the perfect Little Man for your Father (pronounced FA-zha) and me. I love you so completely and with all of my being. You are MY Crackah, and I love you for being you, you crazy little bunbuns.