Round the Bend and Back Again

I'm sorry my friends
Been really busy lately
Love that you email

Stop by my Buzz page
Wondering where did she go?
Crazy but good week

Huge sigh of relief
A let down of emotion
I cried tears of joy

My baby is fine,
According to the doctors.
Holter was normal

His poo was blood-free
New GI doc was a dream
Said blood was minor

In her opinion
The least worrisome symptom
Of an allergy

Really? Blood in poop?
WTF? How can that be?
With that one symptom

She said, I don't have
Moms change their diet at all
Wait just a second

I thought, is this real?
Are you fucking kidding me?
My diet for naught?

Nine months without milk?
Five of those without citrus,
Wheat and much much more?

It was hell on me
Worth it for my Little Man
Or so I had thought!

He won't take any
Mom substitute, starting at
Three months. Boobs only

And all of the time
Guess you can't beat skin to skin
For my Little Man

It's been such a ride
So many worries and tests
This first year of life

I hope this next one
Is a wee less exciting
For my sanity

-----

Insomnia sucks
Blog posts running through my head
Why do I lay there

When I could get up
And blog till my heart's content?
Guess I hold out hope

That sleep will come soon
I fear the 4:30 feed
So I stay in bed

-----

So, yes, I've been really busy -- Mom's group outings, doctor appointments, my sister's birthday -- but also really preoccupied. It's been such a relief to finally have a "normal" baby (I know this is such a subjective thing, but from the get-go, things haven't gone "normally" or the way that they are "supposed to"). It hasn't quite sunk in yet. I am grieving for this last year+ of worry and doctors, and hospitals, and being strong.

Of course, I am very happy, but it is mostly a feeling of relief. Like a giant weight has been lifted off my chest. I feel like I don't have to hold my breath anymore. It's still processing in my brain and I almost can't believe what has happened these last two weeks.

First, the pediatrician said he was doing great. Then the cardiologist says everything looks great; "normal." The holter study came back normal. So now if I notice that LM has a fast heart rate, we'll just take him to the Children's Hospital ER, but this is unlikely to happen. No more monitoring, no more special heart doctor.

Then we go to the GI doctor this week and it's a whole different experience from the last few times.

First, a little background: we had a male doctor who had been really harsh with me at times, who had been insistent on my extremely strict diet, and when that didn't work quickly enough, he seriously wanted my to force my son to drink (completely disgusting) hypo-allergenic formula.

So the last time we saw him, things went well. Dr. H was very blase about the whole situation. I thought it was odd, but was glad that he was more positive. So I went to check out and make the follow up appointment for two months from then (late Sept.). I was told that they "didn't have his schedule yet," and to call back in a week. I called back the satellite office where we had been seeing Dr. H. They said, "he doesn't work out of this office anymore. Let me transfer you to the Main Campus."

Okay...no problem. Right?? So they transfer me and then the person at the Main Campus says that he doesn't work in that office anymore! WTF?? So I had to make an appointment with a new doctor, and since LM wasn't one of "their" patients, we had to wait until this week to see someone.

Okay, this week. We go to the new GI doctor. She is wonderful. The nurse is wonderful. They both oooh and aahhh over Little Man, who is being completely charming, despite only having had a short nap in the car on the way there.

We go over the history. They evaluate him. He gets high scores from the nurse and doctor. We get told to HAVE SOME DAIRY ALREADY!!!

So I'm trying fluid milk this week, and if Little Man has no reaction, we can try some for him. Yippee!! I honestly CAN. NOT. BELIEVE. IT.

I am also a bit annoyed that two doctors had such differing opinions on the course of action that would have been appropriate. The new GI doc said that the only worry with the blood in the stools is if they become anemic. And then she would have just prescribed an iron supplement.

I know it's all a moot point now, but I can't help but feel a bit frustrated that all of my hard work and struggle was perhaps not necessary. I'm sure I'll get over it. Ay caramba.

Oh yeah! And we're off the heart medicine and the acid reflux medicine for good it seems. I really just can't get over how lucky we are. I know it's been a hard year, but I DO feel very lucky that Little Man's "problems" have (hopefully) only lasted a year. I know that we will most certainly face other hardships and tests in the future, but right now I'm exhaling, and I don't plan on holding my breath for anything else (especially unknowns).

Okay, I know I don't usually swear (save for ass and crap and stuff I don't really think is "that bad") but hey, the 'ku needed it, and it's what I thought and said to Warrior when I relayed how the visit went. Hopefully my family won't hold it against me!

In bloggy news, I REALLY want to be back "in it" if ya know what I'm saying, but I haven't been getting much screen time with the compy, so forgive me if I'm being a "bad blog friend." I need to start "blogging without guilt." Heheh.

Have a great weekend, everybody, and I CAN promise some Weekly Winners on Sunday -- I took some good ones on our adventures out and about!