Round the Bend and Back Again

I'm sorry my friends
Been really busy lately
Love that you email

Stop by my Buzz page
Wondering where did she go?
Crazy but good week

Huge sigh of relief
A let down of emotion
I cried tears of joy

My baby is fine,
According to the doctors.
Holter was normal

His poo was blood-free
New GI doc was a dream
Said blood was minor

In her opinion
The least worrisome symptom
Of an allergy

Really? Blood in poop?
WTF? How can that be?
With that one symptom

She said, I don't have
Moms change their diet at all
Wait just a second

I thought, is this real?
Are you fucking kidding me?
My diet for naught?

Nine months without milk?
Five of those without citrus,
Wheat and much much more?

It was hell on me
Worth it for my Little Man
Or so I had thought!

He won't take any
Mom substitute, starting at
Three months. Boobs only

And all of the time
Guess you can't beat skin to skin
For my Little Man

It's been such a ride
So many worries and tests
This first year of life

I hope this next one
Is a wee less exciting
For my sanity


Insomnia sucks
Blog posts running through my head
Why do I lay there

When I could get up
And blog till my heart's content?
Guess I hold out hope

That sleep will come soon
I fear the 4:30 feed
So I stay in bed


So, yes, I've been really busy -- Mom's group outings, doctor appointments, my sister's birthday -- but also really preoccupied. It's been such a relief to finally have a "normal" baby (I know this is such a subjective thing, but from the get-go, things haven't gone "normally" or the way that they are "supposed to"). It hasn't quite sunk in yet. I am grieving for this last year+ of worry and doctors, and hospitals, and being strong.

Of course, I am very happy, but it is mostly a feeling of relief. Like a giant weight has been lifted off my chest. I feel like I don't have to hold my breath anymore. It's still processing in my brain and I almost can't believe what has happened these last two weeks.

First, the pediatrician said he was doing great. Then the cardiologist says everything looks great; "normal." The holter study came back normal. So now if I notice that LM has a fast heart rate, we'll just take him to the Children's Hospital ER, but this is unlikely to happen. No more monitoring, no more special heart doctor.

Then we go to the GI doctor this week and it's a whole different experience from the last few times.

First, a little background: we had a male doctor who had been really harsh with me at times, who had been insistent on my extremely strict diet, and when that didn't work quickly enough, he seriously wanted my to force my son to drink (completely disgusting) hypo-allergenic formula.

So the last time we saw him, things went well. Dr. H was very blase about the whole situation. I thought it was odd, but was glad that he was more positive. So I went to check out and make the follow up appointment for two months from then (late Sept.). I was told that they "didn't have his schedule yet," and to call back in a week. I called back the satellite office where we had been seeing Dr. H. They said, "he doesn't work out of this office anymore. Let me transfer you to the Main Campus."

Okay...no problem. Right?? So they transfer me and then the person at the Main Campus says that he doesn't work in that office anymore! WTF?? So I had to make an appointment with a new doctor, and since LM wasn't one of "their" patients, we had to wait until this week to see someone.

Okay, this week. We go to the new GI doctor. She is wonderful. The nurse is wonderful. They both oooh and aahhh over Little Man, who is being completely charming, despite only having had a short nap in the car on the way there.

We go over the history. They evaluate him. He gets high scores from the nurse and doctor. We get told to HAVE SOME DAIRY ALREADY!!!

So I'm trying fluid milk this week, and if Little Man has no reaction, we can try some for him. Yippee!! I honestly CAN. NOT. BELIEVE. IT.

I am also a bit annoyed that two doctors had such differing opinions on the course of action that would have been appropriate. The new GI doc said that the only worry with the blood in the stools is if they become anemic. And then she would have just prescribed an iron supplement.

I know it's all a moot point now, but I can't help but feel a bit frustrated that all of my hard work and struggle was perhaps not necessary. I'm sure I'll get over it. Ay caramba.

Oh yeah! And we're off the heart medicine and the acid reflux medicine for good it seems. I really just can't get over how lucky we are. I know it's been a hard year, but I DO feel very lucky that Little Man's "problems" have (hopefully) only lasted a year. I know that we will most certainly face other hardships and tests in the future, but right now I'm exhaling, and I don't plan on holding my breath for anything else (especially unknowns).

Okay, I know I don't usually swear (save for ass and crap and stuff I don't really think is "that bad") but hey, the 'ku needed it, and it's what I thought and said to Warrior when I relayed how the visit went. Hopefully my family won't hold it against me!

In bloggy news, I REALLY want to be back "in it" if ya know what I'm saying, but I haven't been getting much screen time with the compy, so forgive me if I'm being a "bad blog friend." I need to start "blogging without guilt." Heheh.

Have a great weekend, everybody, and I CAN promise some Weekly Winners on Sunday -- I took some good ones on our adventures out and about!


dawn224 said...

woo! If only we could blog through the power of our thoughts eh?

I wonder if we all mourn the first year a bit. I mean, I wonder how things would look we hadn't moved and stuff. (But then I'd also be at work right now and not sitting on the couch with the baby eh?)

Unknown said...

I'm so glad the end is near. Hitting one has been great for you guys, me thinks. And, I'm glad you are back. We missed you.

Anonymous said...

OMG seriously, to have to restrict your diet so inconveniently (to say the least!) and then find out that you maybe didn't have to?!? Ugh. And BOO harsh doctors :-/ --I never used to care before whether I got care from a man/woman, but now whenever I have an option I do choose women for everything-- pediatrician, OB, tattoo artist, seriously everything :-) --just because I've had statistically less personal & anecdotal weirdnesses/insensitivity/pushiness etc. from women caregivers.

AND BTW glad we met you and your little man, & look forward to hanging out more! :-)

the planet of janet said...

wow. great news!

and i totally understand your frustration. we had a similar thing with one of my kids where she hurt her arm (bone chip) that still hurt months later ... and the surgeon hemmed and hawed about MRI's... and turned out (when he finally operated ... more than a year later) that THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE TO FIX. grrrr.

oh yeah, i hear you. but at least it's on to better things now!

Burgh Baby said...

Yay for leaving some of that drama behind. Hopefully this next year will be full of everybody eating whatever they want and very few trips to the doctor.

Anonymous said...

That's great news about Little Man's ticker and the from the new GI doc!!

I can understand how you feel frustrated about your diet all these months. But at least you stuck with your gut and didn't give in to that terrible hypo-allergenic formula. You would feel way worse about that. I admire your determination, elimination diets are rough.

Kat said...

You just told us about your whole life in haiku! That is impressive. Glad things are going much better for you.

Cathy said...

That's great news that everything with the Little Man is going well! As for the diet - at least you lost a bunch of that pregnancy weight!

And, um, does this possibly mean you're expecting???

I hope this next one
Is a wee less exciting
For my sanity

Oh wait - sorry - just read that again and I think you're talking about the next year - not the next baby. =)

Victoria said...

Oh, Cathy, you are two funny! And as for losing the pregnancy weight? Initially, yeah, now? Not so much. Once I added back wheat and soy, it was all over. And discovered vegan cake. Heh.

Thanks to you all for your support. You are such good blog friends. :) And friends in general. :D

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the good news from the doctor, and just wow for being able to fit in a haiku! :)

Al_Pal said...

*super* impressive 'ku set!
I was very stoked to hear from Mom that you could have dairy again!

And BOY, do I ever hear you on the mentally composing blog entries while trying to sleep!
So. Often. ;p

So very glad to hear of Little Man's exceptional health! ;D

Jenni said...

Wow, this is my first time on your blog and I feel like I know you. You sure pack a lot of info into haiku!

Great series.

Anonymous said...

You rock, V! You're a great mother to sacrifice for your LM... :D XOXOXO

Anonymous said...

It really is good news, but I'd be frustrated that all the effort may have been unnecessary.

Anonymous said...

yay!!! i'm so glad that Little man is of his meds! way to go LM!!! i'm like jumping for joy over here! ;-)

we're still weaning Logan off his GERD meds (he's still on Zantac and Prevacid), but we keep hitting points where he starts to reflux again, so we stop for a while. then we start to drop his doses again. we're hoping that he will be off them by his second birthday (in June)!

maybe i should tell him that LM is ALREADY off his meds, and see if Logan takes the challenge! ;-)

Anonymous said...

One more haiku for ya VDog:

Great news for LM!
Rockin and Rollin Right Now
BD is Happy

Thanks for the shout out. I'm glad to see you around again :)

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