10.07.2008

...But He Was Two Months Early

I still catch myself wanting to say that, 'but he was two months early,' twenty-one months later.  Is it an excuse? A reason? A justification? Do I feel the need to defend my son to others? (Or is that really just defending myself??)

Are they thinking that he's behind, or slow in some way?  It still stings a little, this whole preemie thing.  I almost never acknowledge Little Man's prematurity anymore.  But the feeling and knee-jerk reaction to do so is still there, ever present in my mind when the possibility of comparison comes up.

This is still hurting me. But it's not hurting my son.

*****

If you couldn't tell, VDog has been living too much in her head, and not enough on paper. Or blog. Whatever.

I know this is just a tiny tidbit, but it's all I've got for right now.

*****
Many, many heartfelt thanks to Miss for blogsitting for me.  She rawks, and you should all go tell her so. :D

24 comments:

Rachel said...

Good to see you again! Thanks for putting up the button, you rock!!

I think we all feel the comparison compulsion, whether our kid is a preemie or not.

Huge hugs to ya darlin'.

Miss said...

*muah* baby steps my dear... one little post at a time.

All of us as parents face obsticles with our kids, no matter if they were born early, late, or right on time. *hug*

the planet of janet said...

*hugs*

and *hugs* again.

Siobhan said...

I was born eight weeks early too. I was late walking and a few other things, but I soon caught up. I know it's easy for me to say, but try not to worry.

maggie's mind said...

Good to see you! Another blogger that I love to bits (just ask if you wonder who) first opened my eyes to just how different the perspective really is for the parent of a premie. Until then, I hadn't thought about it. I still know very little, but I know that others do feel like you do. And that it does make perfect sense to me, too.

Kimmylyn said...

I agree with Rachel.. HUGS to you though.. MWAH!!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

It's my favorite big booty ho! I'm so very glad you have returned to us. You knows I'm proud of you for stepping out and posting.

It's natural to defend your child. Don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise. He's your little man cub. Mama bear needs to know he's is perfect. And, he's a fighter. You know that.

Al_Pal said...

*HUGS* He's totally a smart rawkstar. For sure. ;D
& you're a rockin' momma!
*HUGS*

texasholly said...

We are all mother bears. Don't mess with our young...

Zoeyjane said...

Pretty much every mom I know of an early one still tells people, well til they're like, five. You've got a few more years yet to use it, hun.

#7 said...

AW, VDog, he's doing GREAT! I know what you mean, and how you feel, i really do. It's hard, but if it makes you feel any better, I'm around LM enough to know that he is really doing EXCELLENT! In fact, i think he's doing so perfectly that i'm surprised you feel this way. Everybody does things at their own pace and it doesn't really matter anyway. I noticed the post came when i was there today, i hope it wasn't anything i said or did to make you feel this way. I really do think you're an AMAZING mom and the Little Man just rocks my world. I love his great big smile and heart.

Karen said...

Don't short your son. He's amazing just exactly how he is. He needs no excuses to help him. Support him in being the best that he can be, Mom.

*hugs*

Maternal Mirth said...

We miss you :)

HUGS!

Malissa A said...

v...glad to see you back! since we have not gotten around to the kids thing over here yet (how does it happen exactly?)...i don't know what you're going through...but, i do think little man was just needed earlier on this earth to cover it with his total cuteness and complete heart-melting blue eyes! honestly, i wouldn't know he was two months early...he's just an awesome kiddo lucky enough to parents with cool names...who else gets to have a vdog and warrior!!

SecretAgentMama said...

I think Little Man is perfect beyond words!

<3

Misty said...

Good to see you, been missin you, had a preemie mom moment myself yesterday and my son is almost 6 years old now......it never ends for me, but for him he is perfect and normal, fungus head and all! M

andi said...

Hey you! Good to "see" you.

Don't worry about the comparison thing - no one's keeping score. I'm sure the little guy is just fine.

LaskiGal said...

I do the same thing. My brother said, "Doesn't he know how to [insert skill here] yet? Liza figured that out weeks ago" (and she happens to be five months YOUNGER than J). UGH.

I instantly think . . . well, he was a month early. I find myself jumping to make excuses, as if I am protecting him. He is amazing. He is growing, progressing, learning new things every day. He has a smile that causes hearts to flip flop and a laugh that tickles you silly.

Yet, there I am . . . wondering. Is he where he should be?

I don't know. So, I just stick with what I do.

I love him. I do the very best I can for him. He is happy. He is healthy. He is safe.

Phew.

Nap Warden said...

Hey Chicky...no worries, no one is keeping score:)

Mz. Nesbit said...

kids are stressful, other mommies are competitive, sleep is nowhere to be found, dirty dishes and dirty diaper suck. lol

Melissa said...

I am weak when it comes to comparing my children to other children their ages. They were both born after their due dates.

Christie said...

Hey!

You know, my guy was born four days past his due date, he just turned one, and he still can't wave bye-bye. It's impossible not to worry but try not to fret. Fretting is bad for the soul.

Momo Fali said...

I had two preemies. My daughter, who was 10 weeks early, is now almost 10 years old and in the 50th percentile for height and weight. My son was seven weeks early. He is 6 1/2 and is the size of a three year old. He's in the 3rd percentile, but at least he's finally on the chart!! I know how you feel though. Explaining his size gets old sometimes. I always follow his age by saying, "...but, he has heart problems so that's why he's so small".

Nichole said...

ok. so I read this and even though you don't know me, I felt I had to comment. because you see, I know what you are going through. with both of these posts. my son was born at 25 weeks. he was 1.5 pounds. very scary. and people, people are ignorant. I owuld be pushing the stroller and someone would see this tiny baby and say oh he's so.....pause, oh my goodness, have you had him checked??? yes, that is a true story. And here I was so proud of him. He had come so far. and we worked so hard together. BUT, the good new is, he is 4.5 now, and I havent' corrected his age in a long time. He is as tall if not taller than a lot of the children in his pre-school. He is so smart and funny and a huge pain in my butt!! hahaha. So it does and will get better! I know that is easy for a lot of people to say, but take it from me, someone who knows, he will be better than fine, because you will have spent more time with him than other moms, and cared a little more intensly.
It's also good that you are so aware, it will make such a difference in his life. give him a big hug and kiss from me!! hehehe
nichole

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