Top 5 Reasons NOT to Breastfeed

Now that Breastfeeding Awareness Week is officially over, I bring you (a tongue-in-cheek) look at why you DO NOT want to breastfeed:

5. You value the sanctity of your neck and back.

4. You value the sanctity of your nipples.

3. "The only person getting close to my nipples is my body piercer."

2. "I was formula fed, and I turned out great!"

1. "Like, eeeww, gross...it's disgusting! I don't want some little...creature sucking on my boob!"

No babies were harmed in the making of this post. For the record, my mother breastfed all four of her kids into eternity.


#3 said...

And the #1 reason not to breastfeed: "Back off little one, that's PAPA's territory!"

Anonymous said...

Ah...I was laughing at the list, and the "into eternity", and then I was really glad that I looked up #3 last time I saw his comment. ;P

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